Many readers of this newsletter know I spent four decades speaking to business, professional and academic audiences about the future of technology. In my research for material for Technology This Week, I found a marvelous lecture by former MIT professor Patrick Winston called "How to Speak." The lecture was posted on YouTube a few months after Winston's death in 2019 and has since been viewed just under 5 million times.
Winston, who taught at MIT for almost 50 years and was one of the school's most beloved professors, knew how to captivate an audience. His style wasn’t flashy, but it was extremely compelling—even more noteworthy when you consider he worked in the technical field of artificial intelligence.
If you invest an hour and watch the full lecture, and I highly recommend you do, you'll learn some invaluable tips that will make you not only a better speaker, but a better communicator. However, you'll also discover a priceless gem in the first five minutes of the talk, when Winston describes what he calls the "rule of engagement." It's a simple, non-negotiable policy, and it's only five words long.
Winston's rule: When someone else is speaking:
"No laptops. No cell phones."
Although simple, this is a rule that almost no one today follows, and that makes it extremely valuable. Winston's rule of engagement is also a perfect example of emotional intelligence in real life: the ability to make emotions work for you, instead of against you.
Making a Better Listener. Winston explains the reasoning behind his rule of engagement. "Some people ask why [no laptops, no cell phones] is a rule of engagement," says Winston. "The answer is, we humans only have one language processor. And if your language processor is engaged, you're distracted. And worse yet, you distract the people around you—studies have shown that."
Back in the 1950s, psychologist Donald Broadbent proved a similar point by setting up subjects with headphones that were putting out two different messages at the same time, one to each ear. Afterwards, Broadbent tested the subjects on their ability to retain the information.
What was Broadbent's conclusion? We can only listen to one voice at a time.
But how can the "no laptops, no cell phones" rule of engagement help you and your organization?
The Effect on Relationships. Nowadays, people are accustomed to respond to electronic messages immediately, and there's some good to that. When you respond quickly to others' messages, you provide information they need to move their work forward. Additionally, you show you value them.
However, in your efforts to respond quickly, you might also make a big mistake. By constantly checking your phone, even when you're in a meeting or conversation with others, you leave your conversation partner feeling that you aren't really "present"--and that you don’t care about them or the conversation.
Just think of all the lost time in meetings in which someone repeats something that's already been said or goes off on a tangent because they were distracted and missed a key point.
True listening and collaboration require complete attention. And if you're speaking with another person, that person thought you were important enough to give you their time and attention. Why not return the honor?
You'd be surprised at the positive benefits these actions reap—and the depth and quality it adds to your relationships.
So, if you'd like to increase the quality of your meetings, conversations, and even your relationships, take a page out of Patrick Winston's playbook:
"No laptops. No cell phones."
Because you can only listen to one voice at a time.
Winston, who taught at MIT for almost 50 years and was one of the school's most beloved professors, knew how to captivate an audience. His style wasn’t flashy, but it was extremely compelling—even more noteworthy when you consider he worked in the technical field of artificial intelligence.
If you invest an hour and watch the full lecture, and I highly recommend you do, you'll learn some invaluable tips that will make you not only a better speaker, but a better communicator. However, you'll also discover a priceless gem in the first five minutes of the talk, when Winston describes what he calls the "rule of engagement." It's a simple, non-negotiable policy, and it's only five words long.
Winston's rule: When someone else is speaking:
"No laptops. No cell phones."
Although simple, this is a rule that almost no one today follows, and that makes it extremely valuable. Winston's rule of engagement is also a perfect example of emotional intelligence in real life: the ability to make emotions work for you, instead of against you.
Making a Better Listener. Winston explains the reasoning behind his rule of engagement. "Some people ask why [no laptops, no cell phones] is a rule of engagement," says Winston. "The answer is, we humans only have one language processor. And if your language processor is engaged, you're distracted. And worse yet, you distract the people around you—studies have shown that."
Back in the 1950s, psychologist Donald Broadbent proved a similar point by setting up subjects with headphones that were putting out two different messages at the same time, one to each ear. Afterwards, Broadbent tested the subjects on their ability to retain the information.
What was Broadbent's conclusion? We can only listen to one voice at a time.
But how can the "no laptops, no cell phones" rule of engagement help you and your organization?
The Effect on Relationships. Nowadays, people are accustomed to respond to electronic messages immediately, and there's some good to that. When you respond quickly to others' messages, you provide information they need to move their work forward. Additionally, you show you value them.
However, in your efforts to respond quickly, you might also make a big mistake. By constantly checking your phone, even when you're in a meeting or conversation with others, you leave your conversation partner feeling that you aren't really "present"--and that you don’t care about them or the conversation.
Just think of all the lost time in meetings in which someone repeats something that's already been said or goes off on a tangent because they were distracted and missed a key point.
True listening and collaboration require complete attention. And if you're speaking with another person, that person thought you were important enough to give you their time and attention. Why not return the honor?
You'd be surprised at the positive benefits these actions reap—and the depth and quality it adds to your relationships.
So, if you'd like to increase the quality of your meetings, conversations, and even your relationships, take a page out of Patrick Winston's playbook:
"No laptops. No cell phones."
Because you can only listen to one voice at a time.
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